Celebrating Christmas

 

A friend asked me to share with her how Christmas is celebrated in other countries like in Colombia. This is what I sent her. My wife thought it would be good to post on our web site”

“I pulled from resources on the Internet and combined them with commentary sprinkled throughout. The links came from the data from the on-line sources (I have not clicked on these links so careful as I don’t know where it sends you. Ignore the links if you’d like). At the end, I summarized the celebration with some American things intertwined (like Thanksgiving) so we could honor as many of Colombian’s traditions plus the American side of the family traditions. Again, I hope this helps.

1. Christmas in Colombia is thoroughly a religious celebration of the birth of Christ, and seen as the pinnacle event of a year-long celebration of Church calendar traditions with a focus on incarnation (Christmas), enlightenment (Epiphany), repentance (Lent), salvation/renewal (Easter), devotion (Trinity Sundays) and Advent.  
2. Christmas is a combination of 2 celebration: Navidad (Christmas) and Dia de los Tres Reyes (the day of the 3 kings, or Epiphany). Santa Claus is called Papa Noel, “Father Noel”. But unlike in America where Santa Claus is prominent in the celebration, he is not predominant in Colombia’s celebration. He takes a back seat to Baby Jesus who is tenderly called “Bebe Jesus” and reverently called “El Niño Dios”, which means “the boy God”.
3. The celebration is thoroughly religious following the church calendar and religious traditions of mass attendance, centered around the “Pecebre” (displays of the Nativity Scene). Presents are brought by “El Niño Dios” (Baby Jesus) instead of “Papá Noél” (Santa Claus). He is still an important Christmas figure, but his role in gift giving has been downplayed by the church. His presence however is still felt in decorations, and Santa Clauses pose for pictures at malls. Christmas decorations can be seen as early as early November, but the unofficial start of the Christmas festivities in Colombia takes place on December 7, for the religious celebration of “Día de las Velitas” or “Day of the Candles”, when at night the streets, sidewalks, balconies, porches and driveways are decorated with candles and paper lanterns, illuminating the city in a yellow glow, all in honor of the Immaculate Conception which takes place the next day December 8.
4. Many activities take place including musical events, firework displays, and many other events planned by the cities. The cities become a beautiful display of lights, sounds and celebrations. In many cities, and even in small rural towns, neighborhoods get together and decorate their whole neighborhood or street, making many streets feel like a tunnel of lights. Many radio stations, and some local organizations hold competitions for the best display of lights, making the competition for the best light show a serious event.
5. Fireworks are very common during the holiday season in Colombia (easily 10 times more used and enjoyed than in America. Everyone shoots of fireworks…and the size of these fireworks are impressive. A very popular firework is a large 3’x3’ hot air balloon that is lighted and seen go up until it burns. Sadly, however, there have been bans of fireworks which have decreased the use of fireworks and now only the city or towns get to hold firework displays. Here is how Christmas is celebrated in Colombia:(1)    
6. December 16 is the first day of the Christmas Novena, a devotion consisting of prayer said on nine successive days, the last one held on Christmas Eve. The Novena was a call for a understanding the real meaning of Christmas, and a way to fight the commercialism of the season, the Catholic Church promotes this tradition as a staple of Christmas, much like the posadas of Mexico. Villancicos ung accompanied by Tambourines and bells, and verses from the Bible are read, followed by an interpretation which may change each year.
7. Churches offer nightly masses for the novenas, culminating with the “Misa de Gallo” (Rooster’s Mass) on December 24 at midnight.(2)     Although Christmas day is recognized as December 25, Christmas Eve is the most important day of Christmas in Colombia. Families and friends get together in large groups at a particular house and start the celebrations: kids play, adults visit, lots of food, lots of drink, lots of playing outside with uncles and friends, and it many times becomes a street party with all the neighbors. Sometime the group stop to pray the last Novena (usually required by the grandmothers and grand-aunts) and wait till midnight to open the presents, and parties go on till sunrise on Christmas Day, kids stay up playing with their toys all night long!!!!! Fireworks fill the skies all night long! December 25 is less on celebration as Christmas Eve is considered Christmas Day in Colombia. So though the opening of gifts is technically opened on Dec 25 but at midnight, the consciousness of Colombians is that they are celebrating it starting on December 24 around 6pm and goes on through way past midnight on December 25.
8. The entire day of December 25 is left for resting for the previous night’s celebrations.(3)    
9. The celebration continues through the celebration of “Día de los Inocentes” or Day of the Innocents also known in English as the Massacre of the Innocents, often times around December 28. This day is reserved for fun, like pranks, equivalent to April Fool’s Day in many countries. Prank victims are called the “innocents”, “los inocentes.”(4)    
10. The final day of Christmas celebration is January 6, the day of the Revelation of the Magi, or otherwise referred to in America is Epiphany, when according to the tradition is when the Wise Men arrived to see the baby Jesus and offered him gifts. This day was also used to be a day of gift giving, but it has slowly lost its importance, though we still here give last minute gifts to follow this tradition. It is also the day godparents usually give their presents, and the day where Christmas decorations are taken down. We as Colombians here in America have intertwined our Colombian traditions with some American/Anglican traditions into our Christmas celebration which looks something like this:

1. Christmas                                                              
   • The Saturday after Thanksgiving – our trees and decorations go up every year marking the beginning of the Yuletide and the Advent Season                                                            
   •  ii.      10 days before Christmas – we pass out gifts with families and friends from Colombia who are here to allow everyone to be w/ their American families on Dec.24 and 25 to celebrate is Americans.                                                           
   • iii.      Christmas Eve – We follow the Colombian tradition and stay up til 1am w/ the kids opening gifts from the Colombian side of the family.                                                          
   • iv.      Christmas Day – We go to our American side of the family and celebrate Christmas with them, opening those gifts                                                            
   • v.      The 12 days From Christmas to Epiphany – some gift giving, stockings, dinners, etc….                                                          
   • vi.      Epiphany – all Christmas decorations come down, additional gift giving, priest visits homes and prays for family
2. The rest of the year                                                              
   • Repentance – Lent (Feb / March)                                                            
   • Renewal – Easter (April / May)                                                           
   • Regular Days (May – July)                                                           
   • Devotion – Trinity Sundays (Aug – Oct)                                                            
   • Thanksgiving – November                                                          
   • Advent – Christmas – (December)(5)    

Overall, for Colombians, Christmas is seen as part of the overall Church Calendar celebration with its summit celebration in Christmas and its weekly celebration of the Lord’s Supper at Church year-round!  This is how Christmas is celebrated in Colombia!

Some resources

1. http://www.santas.net/latinamericanchristmas.htm 
2. http://www.santas.net/mexicanchristmas.htm
3. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas#Economics_of_Christmas
4. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_worldwide#Colombia

 – end of post —

Duties of Parents – Footnotes

Footnotes[1] As a minister, I cannot help remarking that there is hardly any subject about which people seem so tenacious as they are about their children. I have sometimes been perfectly astonished at the slowness of sensible Christian parents to allow that their own children are in fault, or deserve blame. There are not a few persons to whom I would far rather speak about their own sins, than tell them their children had done anything wrong.[2] “He has seen but little of life who does not discern everywhere the effect of education on men’s opinions and habits of thinking. The children bring out of the nursery that which displays itself throughout their lives.” Cecil.

[3] As to the age when the religious instruction of a child should begin, no general rule can be laid down. The mind seems to open in some children much more quickly than in others. We seldom begin too early. There are wonderful examples on record of what a child can attain to, even at three years old.

[4] Some parents and nurses have a way of saying, “Naughty child,” to a boy or girl on every slight occasion, and often without good cause. It is a very foolish habit. Words of blame should never be used without real reason.

[5] As to the best way of punishing a child, no general rule can be laid down. The characters of children are so exceedingly different, that what would be a severe punishment to one child, would be no punishment at all to another. I only beg to enter my decided protest against the modern notion that no child ought ever to be whipped. Doubtless some parents use bodily correction far too much, and far too violently; but many others, I fear, use it far too little.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #17

17. Train them, lastly, with continual prayer for a blessing on all you do.

Without the blessing of the Lord, your best endeavours will do no good. He has the hearts of all men in His hands, and except He touch the hearts of your children by His Spirit, you will weary yourself to no purpose. Water, therefore, the seed you sow on their minds with unceasing prayer. The Lord is far more willing to hear than we to pray; far more ready to give blessings than we to ask them; —but He loves to be entreated for them. And I set this matter of prayer before you, as the top-stone and seal of all you do. I suspect the child of many prayers is seldom cast away.

Look upon your children as Jacob did on his; he tells Esau the his father, “They are the sons whom God hath given me”. {Ge 48:9} Count them with the Psalmist to be “an heritage and reward from the Lord”. {Ps 127:3} And then ask the Lord, with a holy boldness, to be gracious and merciful to His own gifts. Mark how Abraham intercedes for Ishmael, because he loved him, “Oh that Ishmael might live before thee.” {Ge 17:18} See how Manoah speaks to the angel about Samson, “How shall we order the child, and how shall we do unto him?” {Jud 13:12} Observe how tenderly Job cared for his children’s souls, “He offered burnt-offerings according to the number of them all, for he said, It may be my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.” {Job 1:5} Parents, if you love your children, go and do likewise. You cannot name their names before the mercy-seat too often. And now, reader, in conclusion, let me once more press upon you the necessity and importance of using every single means in your power, if you would train children for heaven.

I know well that God is a sovereign God, and doeth all things according to the counsel of His own will. I know that Rehoboam was the son of Solomon, and Manasseh the son of Hezekiah, and that you do not always see godly parents having a godly seed. But I know also that God is a God who works by means, and sure am I, if you make light of such means as I have mentioned, your children are not likely to turn out well. Fathers and mothers, you may take your children to be baptized, and have them enrolled in the ranks of Christ’s Church; you may get godly sponsors to answer for them, and help you by their prayers; you may send them to the best of schools, and give them Bibles and Prayer Books, and fill them with head knowledge but if all this time there is no regular training at home, I tell you plainly, I fear it will go hard in the end with your children’s souls.

Home is the place where habits are formed; home is the place where the foundations of character are laid; home gives the bias to our tastes, and likings, and opinions. See then, I pray you, that there be careful training at home. Happy indeed is the man who can say, as Bolton did upon his dying bed, to his children, “I do believe not one of you will dare to meet me before the tribunal of Christ in an unregenerate state.” Fathers and mothers, I charge you solemnly before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, take every pains to train your children in the way they should go. I charge you not merely for the sake of your children’s souls;

I charge you for the sake of your own future comfort and peace. Truly it is your interest so to do. Truly your own happiness in great measure depends on it. Children have ever been the bow from which the sharpest arrows have pierced man’s heart. Children have mixed the bitterest cups that man has ever had to drink. Children have caused the saddest tears that man has ever had to shed. Adam could tell you so; Jacob could tell you so; David could tell you so. There are no sorrows on earth like those which children have brought upon their parents. Oh! take heed, lest your own neglect should lay up misery for you in your old age. Take heed, lest you weep under the ill-treatment of a thankless child, in the days when your eye is dim, and your natural force abated.

If ever you wish your children to be the restorers of your life, and the nourishers of your old age, if you would have them blessings and not curses joys and not sorrows Judahs and not Reubens Ruths and not Orpahs, if you would not, like Noah, be ashamed of their deeds, and, like Rebekah, be made weary of your life by them: if this be your wish, remember my advice betimes, train them while young in the right way. And as for me, I will conclude by putting up my prayer to God for all who read this paper, that you may all be taught of God to feel the value of your own souls. This is one reason why baptism is too often a mere form, and Christian training despised and disregarded. Too often parents feel not for themselves, and so they feel not for their children.

They do not realize the tremendo therefore they are content to let them alone. Now the Lord teach you all that sin is that abominable thing which God hateth. Then, I know you will mourn over the sins of your children, and strive to pluck them out as brands from the fire. The Lord teach you all how precious Christ is, and what a mighty and complete work He hath done for our salvation. Then, I feel confident you will use every means to bring your children to Jesus, that they may live through Him. The Lord teach you all your need of the Holy Spirit, to renew, sanctify, and quicken your souls. Then, I feel sure you will urge your children to pray for Him without ceasing, and never rest till He has come down into their hearts with power, and made them new creatures.

The Lord grant this, and then I have a good hope that you will indeed train up your children well, train well for this life, and train well for the life to come; train well for earth, and train well for heaven; train them for God, for Christ, and for eternity.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #16

16. Train them remembering continually the promises of Scripture.

I name this also shortly, in order to guard you against discouragement. You have a plain promise on your side, “Train up your child in the way he should go, and when he is old he shall not depart from it”. {Pr 22:6} Think what it is to have a promise like this. Promises were the only lamp of hope which cheered the hearts of the patriarchs before the Bible was written. Enoch, Noah, Abrahanm, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, all lived on a few promises, and prospered in their souls. Promises are the cordials which in every age have supported and strengthened the believer. He that has got a plain text upon his side need never be cast down. Fathers and mothers, when your hearts are failing, and ready to halt, look at the word of this text, and take comfort. Think who it is that promises. It is not the word of a man, who may lie or repent; it is the word of the King of kings, who never changes.

Hath He said a thing, and shall He not do it? Or hath He spoken, and shall He not make it good? Neither is anything too hard for Him to perform. The things that are impossible with men are possible with God. Reader, if we get not the benefit of the promise we are dwelling upon, the fault is not in Him, but in ourselves. Think, too, what the promise contains, before you refuse to take comfort from it. It speaks of a certain time when good training shall especially bear fruit, “when a child is old.” Surely there is comfort in this. You may not see with your own eyes the result of careful training, but you know not what blessed fruits may not spring from it, long after you are dead and gone.

It is not God’s way to give everything at once. “Afterwards” is the time when He often chooses to work, both in the things of nature and in the things of grace. “Afterward” is the season when affliction bears the peaceable fruit of righteousness. {Heb 12:11} “Afterward” was the time when the son who refused to work in his father’s vineyard repented and went. {Mt 21:29} And “afterward” is the time to which parents must look forward if they see not success at once, you must sow in hope and plant in hope. “Cast thy bread upon the waters,” saith the Spirit, “for thou shalt find it after many days” (Ecc 11:1). Many children, I doubt not, shall rise up in the day of judgment, and bless their parents for good training, who never gave any signs of having profited by it during their parents’ lives. Go forward then in faith, and be sure that your labour shall not be altogether thrown away.

Three times did Elijah stretch himself upon the widow’s child before it revived. Take example from him, and persevere.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #15

15. Train them remembering continually the power of sin.

I name this shortly, in order to guard you against unscriptural expectations. You must not expect to find your children’s minds a sheet of pure white paper, and to have no trouble if you only use right means. I warn you plainly you will find no such thing. It is painful to see how much corruption and evil there is in a young child’s heart, and how soon it begins to bear fruit. Violent tempers, self- will, pride, envy, sullenness, passion, idleness, selfishness, deceit, cunning, falsehood, hypocrisy, a terrible aptness to learn what is bad, a painful slowness to learn what is good, a readiness to pretend anything in order to gain their own ends, all these things, or some of them, you must be prepared to see, even in your own flesh and blood. In little ways they will creep out at a very early age; it is almost startling to observe how naturally they seem to spring up. Children require no schooling to learn to sin.

But you must not be discouraged and cast down by what you see. You must not think it a s left us; it is that fallen nature with which we come into the world; it is that inheritance which belongs to us all. Let it rather make you more diligent in using every means which seem most likely, by God’s blessing, to counteract the mischief. Let it make you more and more careful, so far as in you lies, to keep your children out of the way of temptation. Never listen to those who tell you your children are good, and well brought up, and can be trusted. Think rather that their hearts are always inflammable as tinder. At their very best, they only want a spark to set their corruptions alight. Parents are seldom too cautious. Remember the natural depravity of your children, and take care.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #14

14. Train them remembering continually the influence; of your own example.

Instruction, and advice, and commands will profit little, unless they are backed up by the pattern of your own life. Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish them to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel. Archbishop Tillotson made a wise remark when he said, “To give children good instruction, and a bad example, is but beckoning to them with the head to show them the way to heaven, while we take them by the hand and lead them in the way to hell.” We little know the force and power of example. No one of us can live to himself in this world; we are always influencing those around us, in one way or another, either for good or for evil, either for God or for sin. They see our ways, they mark our conduct, they observe our behaviour, and what they see us practise, that they may fairly suppose we think right. And never, I believe, does example tell so powerfully as it does in the case of parents and children. Fathers and mothers, do not forget that children learn more by the eye than they do by the ear. No school will make such deep marks on character as home.

The best of schoolmasters will not imprint on their minds as much as they will pick up at your fireside. Imitation is a far stronger principle with children than memory. What they see has a much stronger effect on their minds than what they are told. Take care, then, what you do before a child. It is a true proverb, “Who sins before a child, sins double.” Strive rather to be a living epistle of Christ, such as your families can read, and that plainly too. Be an example of reverence for the Word of God, reverence in prayer, reverence for means of grace, reverence for the Lord’s day. Be an example in words, in temper, in diligence, in temperance, in faith, in charity, in kindness, in humility. Think not your children will practise what they do not see you do.

You are their model picture, and they will copy what you are. Your reasoning and your lecturing, your wise commands and your good advice; all this they may not understand, but they can understand your life. Children are very quick observers; very quick in seeing through some kinds of hypocrisy, very quick in finding out what you really think and feel, very quick in adopting all your ways and opinions. You will often find as the father is, so is the son. Remember the word that the conqueror Caesar always used to his soldiers in a battle. He did not say “Go forward,” but “Come.” So it must be with you in training your children.

They will seldom learn habits which they see you despise, or walk in paths in which you do not walk yourself. He that preaches to his children what he does not practise, is working a work that never goes forward. It is like the fabled web of Penelope of old, who wove all day, and unwove all night. Even so, the parent who tries to train without setting a good example is building with one hand, and pulling down with the other.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #13

13. Train them remembering continually how God trains His children.

The Bible tells us that God has an elect people, a family in this world. All poor sinners who have been convinced of sin, and fled to Jesus for peace, make up that family. All of us who really believe on Christ for salvation are its members. Now God the Father is ever training the members of this family for their everlasting abode with Him in heaven. He acts as a husbandman pruning his vines, that they may bear more fruit. He knows the character of each of us, our besetting sins, our weaknesses, our peculiar infirmities, our special wants. He knows our works and where we dwell, who are our companions in life, and what are our trials, what our temptations, and what are our privileges. He knows all these things, and is ever ordering all for our good. He allots to each of us, in His providence, the very things we need, in order to bear the most fruit, as much of sunshine as we can stand, and as much of rain, as much of bitter things as we can bear, and as much of sweet.

Reader, if you would train your children wisely, mark well how God the Father trains His. He doeth all things well; the plan which He adopts must be right. See, then, how many things there are which God withholds from His children. Few could be found, I suspect, among them who have not had desires which He has never been pleased to fulfil. There has often been some one thing they wanted to attain, and yet there has always been some barrier to prevent attainment. It has been just as if God was placing it above our reach, and saying, “This is not good for you; this must not be.” Moses desired exceedingly to cross over Jordan, and see the goodly land of promise; but you will remember his desire was never granted. See, too, how often God leads His people by ways which seem dark and mysterious to our eyes. We cannot see the meaning of all His dealings with us; we cannot see the reasonableness of the path in which our feet are treading. Sometimes so many trials have assailed us, so many difficulties encompassed us, that we have not been able to discover the needs-be of it all. It has been just as if our Father was taking us by the hand into a dark place and saying, “Ask no questions, but follow Me.”

There was a direct road from Egypt to Canaan, yet Israel was not led into it; but round, through the wilderness. And this seemed hard at the time. “The soul of the people,” we are told, “was much discouraged because of the way”. {Ex 13:17 Nu 21:4} See, also, how often God chastens His people with trial and affliction. He sends them crosses and disappointments; He lays them low with sickness; He strips them of property and friends; He changes them from one position to another; He visits them with things most hard to flesh and blood; and some of us have well- nigh fainted under the burdens laid upon us. We have felt pressed beyond strength, and have been almost ready to murmur at the hand which chastened us. Paul the Apostle had a thorn in the flesh appointed him, some bitter bodily trial, no doubt, though we know not exactly what it was.

But this we know, he besought the Lord thrice that it might be removed; yet it was not taken away {2Co 12:8,9}. Now, reader, notwithstanding all these things, did you ever hear of a single child of God who thought his Father did not treat him wisely? No, I am sure you never did. God’s children would always tell you, in the long run, it was a blessed thing they did not have their own way, and that God had done far better for them than they could have done for themselves. Yes! And they could tell you, too, that God’s dealings had provided more happiness for them than they ever would have obtained themselves, and that His way, however dark at times, was the way of pleasantness and the path of peace. I ask you to lay to heart the lesson which God’s dealings with His people is meant to teach you. Fear not to withhold from your child anything you think will do him harm, whatever his own wishes may be.

This is God’s plan. Hesitate not to lay on him commands, of which in ways which may not now seem reasonable to his mind. This is God’s plan. Shrink not from chastising and correcting him whenever you see his soul’s health requires it, however painful it may be to your feelings; and remember medicines for the mind must not be rejected because they are bitter. This is God’s plan. And be not afraid, above all, that such a plan of training will make your child unhappy. I warn you against this delusion. Depend on it, there is no surer road to unhappiness than always having our own way. To have our wills checked and denied is a blessed thing for us; it makes us value enjoyments when they come. To be indulged perpetually is the way to be made selfish; and selfish people and spoiled children, believe me, are seldom happy. Reader, be not wiser than God; train your children as He trains His.

Duties of Parents – #12

12. Train them with a constant fear of over-indulgence.

This is the one point of all on which you have most need to be on your guard. It is natural to be tender and affectionate towards your own flesh and blood, and it is the excess of this very tenderness and affection which you have to fear. Take heed that it does not make you blind to your children’s faults, and deaf to all advice about them. Take heed lest it make you overlook bad conduct, rather than have the pain of inflicting punishment and correction. I know well that punishment and correction are disagreeable things. Nothing is more unpleasant than giving pain to those we love, and calling forth their tears. But so long as hearts are what hearts are, it is vain to suppose, as a general rule, that children can ever be brought up without correction. Spoiling is a very expressive word, and sadly full of meaning. Now it is the shortest way to spoil children to let them have their own way, to allow them to do wrong and not to punish them for it. Believe me, you must not do it, whatever pain it may cost you unless you wish to ruin your children’s souls.

You cannot say that Scripture does not speak expressly on this subject: “He that spareth his rod, hateth his son; but he that loveth him, chasteneth him betimes”. {Pr 13:24} “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying”. {Pr 19:18} “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child: but the rod of correction shall drive it from him”. {Pr 22:15} “Withhold not correction from the child, for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell” {Pr 23:13,14}. “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.” “Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest, yea, he shall give delight to thy soul” {Pr 29:15,17}. How strong and forcible are these texts!

How melancholy is the fact, that in many Christian families they seem almost unknown! Their children need reproof, but it is hardly ever given; they need correction, but it is hardly ever employed. And yet this book of Proverbs is not obsolete and unfit for Christians. It is given by inspiration of God, and profitable. It is given for our learning, even as the Epistles to the Romans and Ephesians. Surely the believer who brings up his children without attention to its counsel is making himself wise above that which is written, and greatly errs. Fathers and mothers, I tell you plainly, if you never punish your children when they are in fault, you are doing them a grievous wrong. I warn you, this is the rock on which the saints of God, in every age, have only too frequently made shipwreck. I would fain persuade you to be wise in time, and keep clear of it. See it in Eli’s case. His sons Hophni and Phinehas “made themselves vile, and he restrained them not.” He gave them no more than a tame and lukewarm reproof, when he ought to have rebuked them sharply. In one word, he honoured his sons above God. And what was the end of these things?

He lived to hear of the death of both his sons in battle, and his own grey hairs were brought down with sorrow to the grave. {1Sa 2:22-29,3:13} See, too, the case of David. Who can read without pain the history of his children, and their sins? Amnon’s incest, — Absalom’s murder and proud rebellion, Adonijah’s scheming ambition: truly these were grievous wounds for the man after God’s own heart to receive from his own house. But was there no fault on his side? I fear there can be no doubt there was. I find a clue to it all in the account of Adonijah in 1Ki 1:6: “His father had not displeased him at any time in saying, Why hast thou done so?”

There was the foundation of all the mischief. David was an over-indulgent father, a father who let his children have their own way, and he reaped according as he had sown. Parents, I beseech you, for your children’s sake, beware of over-indulgence. I call on you to remember, it is your first duty to consult their real interests, and not their fancies and likings; to train them, not to humour them to profit, not merely to please. You must not give way to every wish and caprice of your child’s mind, however much you may love him. You must not let him suppose his will is to be everything, and that he has only to desire a thing and it will be done. Do not, I pray you, make your children idols, lest God should take them away, and break your idol, just to convince you of your folly. Learn to say “No” to your children. Show them that you are able to refuse whatever you think is not fit for them. Show them that you are ready to punish disobedience, and that when you speak of punishment, you are not only ready to threaten, but also to perform. Do not threaten too much. ^[4] Threatened folks, and threatened faults, live long.

Punish seldom, but really and in good earnest, frequent and slight punishment is a wretched system indeed. ^[5] Beware of letting small faults pass unnoticed under the idea “it is a little one.” There are no little things in training children; all are important. Little weeds need plucking up as much as any. Leave them alone, and they will soon be great. Reader, if there be any point which deserves your attention, believe me, it is this one. It is one that will give you trouble, I know. But if you do not take trouble with your children when they are young, they will give you trouble when they are old. Choose which you prefer.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #11

11. Train them to a habit of always redeeming the time. Idleness is the devil’s best friend.

It is the surest way to give him an opportunity of doing us harm. An idle mind is like an open door, and if Satan does not enter in himself by it, it is certain he will throw in something to raise bad thoughts in our souls. No created being was ever meant to be idle. Service and work is the appointed portion of every creature of God. The angels in heaven work, —they are the Lord’s ministering servants, ever doing His will. Adam, in Paradise, had work, —he was appointed to dress the garden of Eden, and to keep it. The redeemed saints in glory will have work, “They rest not day and night singing praise and glory to Him who bought them.” And man, weak, sinful man, must have something to do, or else his soul will soon get into an unhealthy state.

We must have our hands filled, and our minds occupied with something, or else our imaginations will soon ferment and breed mischief. And what is true of us, is true of our children too. Alas, indeed, for the man that has nothing to do! The Jews thought idleness a positive sin: it was a law of theirs that every man should bring up his son to some useful trade, —and they were right. They knew the heart of man better than some of us appear to do. Idleness made Sodom what she was. “This was the iniquity of thy sister Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness was in her”. {Eze 16:49} Idleness had much to do with David’s awful sin with the wife of Uriah. —I see in 2Sa 11 that Joab went out to war against Ammon, “but David tarried still at Jerusalem.” Was not that idle? And then it was that he saw Bathsheba, —and the next step we read of is his tremendous and miserable fall. Verily, I believe that idleness has led to more sin than almost any other habit that could be named. I suspect it is the mother of many a work of the flesh, the mother of adultery, fornication, drunkenness, and many other deeds of darkness that I have not time to name. Let your own conscience say whether I do not speak the truth.

You were idle, and at once the devil knocked at the door and came in. And indeed I do not wonder; everything in the world around us seems to teach the same lesson. It is the still water which becomes stagnant and impure: the running, moving streams are always clear. If you have steam machinery, you must work it, or it soon gets out of order. If you have a horse, you must exercise him; he is never so well as when he has regular work. If you would have good bodily health yourself, you must take exercise. If you always sit still, your body is sure at length to complain. And just so is it with the soul. The active moving mind is a hard mark for the devil to shoot at. Try to be always full of useful employment, and thus your enemy will find it difficult to get room to sow tares. Reader, I ask you to set these things before the minds of your children. Teach them the value of time, and try to make them learn the habit of using it well. It pains me to see children idling over what they have in hand, whatever it may be. I love to see them active and industrious, and giving their whole heart to all they do; giving their whole heart to lessons, when they have to learn; giving their whole heart even to their amusements, when they go to play. But if you love them well, let idleness be counted a sin in your family.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”

Duties of Parents – #10

10. Train them to a habit of always speaking the truth.

Truth-speaking is far less common in the world than at first sight we are disposed to think. The whole truth, and nothing but the truth, is a golden rule which many would do well to bear in mind. Lying and prevarication are old sins. The devil was the father of them, —he deceived Eve by a bold lie, and ever since the fall it is a sin against which all the children of Eve have need to be on their guard. Only think how much falsehood and deceit there is in the world! How much exaggeration! How many additions are made to a simple story! How many things left out, if it does not serve the speaker’s interest to tell them! How few there are about us of whom we can say, we put unhesitating trust in their word! Verily the ancient Persians were wise in their generation: it was a leading point with them in educating their children, that they should learn to speak the truth. What an awful proof it is of man’s natural sinfulness, that it should be needful to name such a point at all! Reader, I would have you remark how often God is spoken of in the Old Testament as the God of truth.

Truth seems to be especially set before us as a leading feature in the character of Him with whom we have to do. He never swerves from the straight line. He abhors lying and hypocrisy. Try to keep this continually before your children’s minds. Press upon them at all times, that less than the truth is a lie; that evasion, excuse-making, and exaggeration are all halfway houses towards what is false, and ought to be avoided. Encourage them in any circumstances to be straightforward, and, whatever it may cost them, to speak the truth. I press this subject on your attention, not merely for the sake of your children’s character in the world, — though I might dwell much on this, —I urge it rather for your own comfort and assistance in all your dealings with them. You will find it a mighty help indeed, to be able always to trust their word. It will go far to prevent that habit of concealment, which so unhappily prevails sometimes among children. Openness and straightforwardness depend much upon a parent’s treatment of this matter in the days of our infancy.

JC Ryle, “Duties of Parents”